Sunday, December 19, 2010

Invasion of the Intruder Cat

The noncats have all lost their minds. There is music playing all the time, decorative clutter is on almost every surface, and (I'm not kidding here), they put a tree in the living room. It's made me re-evaluate how stupid I thought noncats were. I now believe they have the dogs beat in the "brainless" category.

Lately, the Intruder Cat has been coming upstairs, and truthfully, she is acting like she is entitled to be here in MY colony. It's been happening for over a month now. If I thought my days at the top of the stairs were long before, they are now a nightmare.

"I can see you, and if you come up these steps, there is going to be kitty on all four of my claws!!!"

"Mommy says if I ignore the bully, then they will have no fun picking on me."

I was distracted for one minute, and here she is, curled up under the noncats' tree, without an invitation from me to come into my upstairs territory. OHHHH, fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice....impossibility!

However, this Intruder Cat refused to be chased back downstairs. It was a total revolt to MY authority. I, The Queen Cat, even resorted to claw to claw combat one morning, right in front of the woman noncat, but still this Intruder would not back down and return to her territory downstairs.

In fact, she advanced into my personal domain, the woman noncats' bedroom. Here she is, in my inner sanctuary. No one is allowed in here without my explicit permission. If she advances to the bed, there will be war:

Has the whole world lost its mind? Is there no respect for authority? No way is this going to be allowed. I shall show her who is the Queen of the colony.

"By the authority under MY command, I order you, Intruder Cat, to go back to your given territory the easy way, or the hard way...your choice!"

"Did I stutter?"..."If you go immediately there will be no blood shed"....

"Yeah baby, that's what I'm talking about, run Intruder Cat, run..."

"And don't let the door hit you on the way out....."

"I love being The Queen Cat!!!"


  1. hahahaha, awesome! I love how brave whitney has gotten! I'm still surprised they aren't best friends by now!