Thursday, January 23, 2014

The Interloper Cat Learns From The Queen Cat

(Queen Cat Meets the Interloper Cat, Part Two)
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The Queen Cat was quite pleased to show off some of her Queen behaviors to The Interloper Cat. This Cat would never be staying in her territory and would never be a threat to her. Besides, the Non-Cats in her territory were terribly boring right now.

"Okay, Interloper Cat, let's start with some basic feeding skills. You must always assume there is an interloper in your territory when you approach your food bowls. Creep stealthily towards the food as if you are tracking prey"...


"You then observe the food bowls to make sure no interloper is nearby before approaching"...


"Hey No! Interloper Cat! You are just observing my skills! You are NOT allowed to eat from MY Royal Food Bowls! Back away, Interloper Cat!"


"Sorry Queen Cat, I got hungry waiting for you to finish showing me how to approach the food bowls. But if you are the Queen Cat, you just attack and take back your food bowl by force, right?"



"Alley Cats fight over food. The Queen Cat removes the interlopers without force. They recognize her superiority without needing to use force. That is why she is The Queen Cat. Here, start to eat this food and I will demonstrate my technique"...


"I have decided that I do not want you to eat that food"....


"I have, in fact, decided that I will eat it"....


"I am eating the food, and you are history...without one claw being flexed"...


"Dang, Queen Cat! That was so cool! Can I try it?"


"No, I will demonstrate the technique, but I will not participate in actively teaching an Interloper Cat. Back away..."

"But Queen Cat, you made it look so easy..."



"Hey!!! Interloper Cat you are showing yourself to be an imbecile who cannot follow directions!"




"Sorry Queen Cat, my youthful exuberance got the best of me. It won't happen again."



"Okay, Interloper Cat. After you have satisfied your hunger, let a Non-Cat in your territory give you a royal brushing. But don't enjoy it too much, you must always maintain control."


"Oh, and let them know when the grooming session is over."


"I can do that Queen Cat"....



"Hey Queen Cat, does this make me look cute?"


"Pearls before feline swine...."




To Be Continued.....










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